Jily & Blackinnon - Confessions through Rants
by ValarPrime98
Summary: Lily & Marlene come to terms with their newfound feelings for James & Sirius respectively, and they think that the boys no longer love them. But a night with a full moon is about to change that.


Lily Evans stared at him.

She was in the Heads' dormitory, a piece of parchment laid out in front of her for her to write out her Charms essay, but she wasn't paying attention to it at all. Her emerald-green eyes never left the young man in front of her, who was completely focused on his Transfiguration essay, his quill literally flying across the parchment. In the six years and 2 months that she had known James Potter, Lily had never, ever thought of him as studious. Quite the opposite, she thought she was an arrogant prat that just happened to be so intelligent that his excellent grades came to him naturally – which infuriated Lily for the past few years, since she always took pride in her schoolwork, while he took pride in his prankwork. But now, she realized, he really did take much pride in his schoolwork. Somehow, he only wanted people to see the charming, humorous and arrogant side of him.

He really had changed, Lily thought. Ever since the start of sixth year, James had stopped hexing people for the fun of it, though there were still quite a handful of cases of cocky Slytherins having their hair turned bright red & orange or their legs wobbling uncontrollably. He had also stopped his daily, annoying habit of asking her out at every turn or making snide remarks at her in order to infuriate her. And then came seventh year, when he had been made Head Boy. Lily had nearly fainted in shock when she realised that Dumbledore had made _James Potter_ Head Boy. But looking back, he had been nothing short of exemplary. He generously helped lost and confused first-years find their way to the Common Room, speaking in kind and gentle tones that somehow made Lily's stomach do strange flip-flops. He had helped tutor several fifth-years in Transfiguration & Defense Against the Dark Arts. He commanded the prefects with absolute power & authority that was asserted but never abused. Even his pranks now were well thought-out and meant to entertain others rather than cause them bodily harm. Just yesterday, he and Sirius had left a message of dazzling, 24-karat golden glitter hovering above the doors of the Great Hall, saying, "Good morning and have a pleasant day." Lily swore Professor McGonagall actually cracked a smile at that, although she still took it down later.

Biting her lip, Lily bent her head down to continue writing her essay, but after a few words were written she again raised her head tentatively, staring at James, wishing he could at least pay her some attention. She cursed herself inwardly; when had she started craving attention from James Potter? He was arrogant, snobbish, charming, funny, kind, handsome, honorable... wait, what?! It took Lily's willpower not to bang her head on the table in frustration. She didn't know what she was mad at: the fact that she craved James's affections or that she was falling head over heels for him ever since the middle of sixth year.

Her gaze was now sad and despondent as she fixed it on James one more time. She had fallen in love with him, but he didn't seem to want anything to do with her anymore, as far as romance was concerned. She regretted all those times when she had so brutally and heartlessly rejected him, when she dismissed Marlene & Dorcas's claims that James really loved her; now, she could hardly blame him for giving up on her after rejecting him so many times.

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Marlene McKinnon was also staring at someone.

Like her close friend Lily Evans, Marlene had never once known Sirius Black to be studious and hardworking. And that was saying something, because Marlene had known Sirius & James since their childhood days. Yet now, Sirius was now totally fixed on finishing his essays, sitting next to Remus Lupin, his fellow Marauder. And not once did he look up at her.

He had been like this for two months since the start of seventh year. This was unlike the past two and a half years where Marlene thought Sirius was trying to drive her into insanity, with his constantly flirty remarks towards her and his continuous pranking on her. James hdn't even gotten involved in some of the pranks; Sirius had once emptied a bucket of magic glitter on her, colouring her hair, skin and robes all green, before being chased by her relentlessly through a dozen flights of stairs in the castle. Those were times when Marlene endlessly questioned why she ever had the misfortune of knowing Sirius Black or being the center of his pranks?

But that wasn't to say she hated him. No, far from it. Marlene always admired how brave and noble Sirius was; how he had angrily defended Remus alongside James when Slytherins had mocked him for his nerdy behavior and meekness, or that time he had duelled both Avery and Mulciber at once when he found them jinxing Peter for their own sadistic pleasure. Marlene hadn't been there personally, but she couldn't stop herself from grinning broadly when she heard from Dorcas Meadowes that while Sirius had ended up in detention, both the two wannabe Death Eaters had landed in the hospital wing. Both James and Sirius were undoubtedly brave and noble in her eyes, but there was something about Sirius that made her think of him more than just a friend than James.

But now, Sirius seemed to have moved on from her. Marlene blinked back tears as the realization hit her. She would never hear Sirius flirting with her and giving her attention again, she would never see Sirius winking at her with twinkling eyes and feel that warm, pleasant sensation in her chest. She loved him, but she realized it too late, and Sirius Black would never shower her with his cheesy affections again.

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"Marls?" Lily came over to the dining table. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." Marlene smiled at her friend. "I was just planning to talk to you as well."

"What about?" Lily asked.

"You go first."

"Well, I..." Lily stammered. "I..." Marlene frowned. Was Lily blushing?

Lily glanced at Marlene's quizzical expression, then she inclined her head behind her then back to her. Frowning, Marlene turned, and her heart stopped as well. Though, not for the same reason as Lily.

Now it was Lily's turn to be puzzled.

"Marls? Are you blushing?"

"NO!" Marlene said, a little too loudly, causing heads to turn around to look at her. She continued in a quieter voice.

"Well, I guess I am blushing. But, why are you blushing as well?"

"It's...it's...," Lily cleared her throat, her voice getting softer and softer. "It's James." Lily said.

Marlene's jaw dropped. "Did I just hear you say 'James' and not 'Potter'?"

Lily's face, which was now rapidly turning even more crimson, nodded. Marlene's blush disappeared, followed by an expression of pure delight.

"You fancy James, don't you?" When Lily nodded, Marlene grabbed her hands excitedly. "This is brilliant, Lils! You've finally admitted your feelings for him!"

Lily nodded sheepishly, smiling at her friend's excitement, before her own expression turned sly as well. "Now it's your turn, Marls. Why were you blushing? Can't have been cos of James, I know you only see him as a brother figure."

Marlene bit her lip, developing a sudden interest in her shoes. "It's Sirius, isn't it?"

Marlene sighed. "Oh, alright, it is him. I do have feelings for Sirius. If only he would return them."

Lily frowned. "What do you mean?"

Marlene glared at her. "You know what I mean! Sirius hasn't been pranking me or flirting with me in more than two months! He's now totally different, like all studious and nice and what not..."

Lily sighed, looking miserable. "I understand, Marls. James is also like that now. Ironic, isn't it? Last time, we both wanted them off our backs. Now, just when we fall for them, they want nothing to do with us."

"I know."

The two girls sat in silence awkwardly, when a few words from James & Sirius's conversation several feet away from them drifted over.

"We'll be going out again tonight..."

Lily and Marlene turned their heads sharply.

"I already asked Frank to help me cover my patrols for tonight, so I can go with Remus and handle his 'furry little problem'."

"Won't Lily suspect anything, Prongs?"

"No one will suspect a thing about Remus, Padfoot. Not if we remain discreet..."

Lily and Marlene's hearts began to race as the two continued talking about meeting at night, at the Whomping Willow, and the Shrieking Shack. Lily clenched her fists and was in half a mind to march up to them and demand what was going on, but Marlene placed a hand on her friend's.

"Not so fast, Lily. There's definitely more to this than meets the eye."

"What do suggest I do? They're going to the Whomping Willow and the Shrieking Shack! Of all places!"

Marlene looked thoughtful. "I have an idea."

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"We really shouldn't be out here." Lily said, as she and Marlene trudged through the school grounds late at night. Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, Lils, you've said that like, ten times already! You've already asked Alice to cover for your Head Girl duties, so it's too late to turn back now. Not when we're so close to finding out what's going on."

Lily sighed. "You mean, you haven't figured it out, Marlene?" Marlene stopped dead in her tracks.

"What do you mean?"

"Remus always calls in sick on the time of the full moon-" Lily began, but Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Of course, I also figured out he's a werewolf, Lily! I mean, what other possible reason could he have for disappearing on the full moon? Or that his Marauders' nickname is 'Moony'?"

"Wait," Lily said, gaping at her. "You knew all along?"

"Yes, and Dorcas knows too. But that doesn't stop her from stealing glances at Remus, hoping he'll notice her. But that's besides the point. Why did you come along with me Lily?"

Marlene stared at her pointedly. Lily sighed. "It's James. I'm worried for him. What if he's attacked by Remus?" She bowed her head dejectedly. "What if I never see him again?" Marlene's expression softened. She took Lily's hand. "I know Lils. I'm also worried for Sirius. James & Sirius share many Marauder secrets with me, but unfortunately what they do with Remus every full moon is not one of them."

Lily and Marlene continued trudging towards the Whomping Willow. When they had reached

the tree, there was no one in sight. Not even a single movement from the tree, which was absolutely still.

"Now what?" Marlene asked.

Lily looked at her. "Maybe... we should go down to the Shack?"

Marlene gaped at her like a fish. "Are you serious, Lily? That place is haunted!"

Lily glared at her. "I love James, and I'm not leaving until I'm sure he's safe! Don't you worry for Sirius as well?" Marlene sighed, before nodding. She had also been prepared to go to the Shrieking Shack to make sure Sirius was alright.

Suddenly, a growl from behind the girls caused them to freeze. They slowly turned their heads. Behind them, less than ten feet away from there, a massive wolf with gray fur stared at them with beady yellow eyes, standing on its elongated hind legs, drool dripping from its bared fangs.

"I-is that R-r-remus?" Lily asked in a trembling voice.

"I-i-i think so..." Marlene said, trembling as well.

The werewolf that had been Remus snarled as it bore down upon them, and Lily and Marlene backed away fearfully.

"Remus? Remus, if you're there, please stop..." Lily implored, but the Remus they knew wasn't there. There was only the wolf, and the two girls in front of him were prey.

Suddenly, a massive black shape leapt onto the werewolf's back, biting and tearing. The werewolf howled in pain and swiped at the creature with its huge clawed forearms. The creature leapt off before the claws could make contact, and put itself between the girls and the werewolf, growling aggressively at it.

Lily and Marlene saw that it was an extremely huge dog, the size of a bear, with shaggy black fur. It snapped fiercely at the werewolf, which snarled back in response. The dog reared its head up, its fur bristling, ready to charge the werewolf.

Just then, something slammed into the werewolf's side, catching it off balance and toppling it to the ground. Lily and Marlene looked with popped out eyes from the dog to the enormous stag that had just appeared out of nowhere and rammed its antlers into the werewolf. The werewolf recovered and roared at the stag, which pawed the ground fiercely with its hooves and lowered its antlers, taking its place next to the dog. The two creatures formed a protective shield in front of Lily and Marlene, stopping the werewolf from charging. Seeing that the two girls were a lost cause, the werewolf turned and disappeared down the hole at the bottom of the Willow.

Lily and Marlene let out the breath that they hadn't realized they had been holding. The two girls looked at each other in utmost relief, before turning quizzically to the dog and the stag, who had turned to face them. For some strange reason, Lily found herself getting transfixed by the stag's eyes, and Marlene by the dog's eyes; they were alien, and yet strangely familiar.

"Um, thanks for saving us." Lily said tentatively. "We... ugh, I'm not even sure they can understand us..."

"Lily, wait." Marlene raised a hand to silence her friend. She took a step closer to the dog and stag, who both shifted on their feet, somewhat uncomfortably.

"What is it, Marls?" Lily asked, taking a step forward as well.

Marlene pointed at the dog, a expression of her face that looked somewhat between shock and amazement. "Padfoot." She said.

"Padfoot? But that's Sirius's nickname..." Lily's eyes widened as large as Marlene's as they both stared at the dog, which had developed a sudden interest in the ground. Lily turned slowly to the stag, who also hurriedly stared at the grassy patch.

"Prongs." She said in realization.

Both the dog and the stag nodded.

Lily and Marlene just stared at them, opening and closing their mouths stupidly, like fish. It wasn't until a piercing howl erupted in the night that all four of them were jolted back to their senses.

The stag that was James snorted and raised a hoofed leg. It pointed back to the castle. The dog that was Sirius barked urgently as well to Marlene and Lily, inclining its head towards the castle. Lily and Marlene looked like they were going to argue, but the dog and stag started towards the hole underneath the Whomping Willow. That settled it.

Lily and Marlene looked over their shoulders as they faced the dog and the stag.

"You two owe us a lot of explaining tomorrow morning."

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"Start talking, Black. How long have been an unregistered Animagus?" Marlene growled at Sirius after breakfast the next day. Sirius sighed.

"1 year, 10 months and 22 days."

"Uh huh. And WHY did you have to attempt something so dangerous? I can handle all the pranks and mischief that you and James come up with, but this is ridiculous!"

"You don't understand Marlene!" Sirius blurted out, breathing heavily. He glared at her, which she returned. "Do you have any idea how much shame and self-loathing Remus have to live with, from being a werewolf? He was always so tense around us and other people, always careful not to get too attached because he was terrified of getting rejected by us, his friends when we found out he was a werewolf. He always was terrified of what his problem made him do to innocent people. We stayed with him cos we didn't want him to be alone, Marlene. He's our brother in all but blood, and if I have to accompany him every full moon as an Animagus, I will. He doesn't deserve to be alone. No one does." Sirius finished with a sigh.

Marlene's heart went out to him; she knew that Sirius had been kicked out by his pure-blood family. He had hated them, but they were still his family, and their rejection left emotional scars that she wasn't sure time could heal.

"I'm sorry, Sirius. I was just so worried. Worried that something would happen to you and James. Worried that...I won't..." Marlene blushed and bit her lip.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You won't what?"

"That I won't be asked out by you again!" Marlene blurted out. Sirius's jaw dropped.

"You've always been pranking me, flirting with me or asking me out almost as constantly as James asked Lily out, but you just stopped for months, and it's killing me! Why? Did they all mean nothing? Why did you have to move on just when I started fancying you?" Marlene continued her rant, before her eyes widened as she realized what she just said. Sirius was gaping at her, his jaw hanging wide open.

"I-I-I'm sorry, Sirius. Forget you heard them, I..." Marlene tried to escape, but Sirius caught her hand. She turned back to face him, her blue eyes meeting his brown ones, and they were shining with tenderness and fondness.

"I stopped, Marley, because I want to make you happy. We always ended up bickering and arguing whenever I pranked you or flirted with you, you would always lash out at me and bicker with me, and honestly speaking, it hurt. It hurt seeing you so angry, so resentful towards me. So I stopped, cos I want you to be happy, Marley. You make me happy like no one else can, not even James, even though he's the brother I never had." Sirius earnestly said to Marlene.

Marlene stared at Sirius, tears coming out of her eyes. She could hardly believe this. Sirius stopped pranking her and flirting with her... so that she could be happy?

"I'm sorry, Marls. I'm sorry for all the times I annoyed you, hurt you and embarrassed you, and I would do anything for you to actually agree to go on an actual date with me..." Sirius was panicking that Marlene was crying – strong-willed and independent Marlene was actually crying, before Marlene stepped forward and kissed him resolutely on his lips. His eyes opened in shock before he closed his eyes and deepened the kiss. As they kissed, euphoria and absolute joy exploded in their inner beings in an epic blaze of glory.

Marlene moaned low in her throat as they continued kissing passionately, their arms wrapped around each other. After several minutes they broke apart, staring into each other's eyes.

"Marlene McKinnon." Sirius said, tipping Marlene's head up to look up at him. "Will you go out to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?"

Marlene grinned. "Absolutely." before they began snogging again.

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"I can't believe you, James! How could you attempt something so dangerous?" Lily ranted at James, on the opposite corridor where Marlene and Sirius were. James had always secretly found Lily's rants attractive and ravishing, but this time, he was not amused. Since they were about his friendship with Remus.

"How could I? Maybe you haven't noticed, Lily, but Remus struggles with so much alienation and shame because of his condition! I won't let him go through all that alone, I'm his brother in all but blood, and I will stand by him even if it's means giving up my position as Head Boy and breaking every rule in Hogwarts!" James said resolutely, his eyes blazing with anger and passion.

"You – you – ugh!" Lily threw up her hands in frustration. "Why do you always have to be like this? Do you know how worried I was for you, for worried Marlene was for Sirius and for you? But no, you have to be that infuriatingly honorable and loving man that I fell head over heels in love with, you have to become so perfect but you no longer ask me out or even pay me attention..." Lily froze. She stared at James, who had also frozen in shock, staring at her like she had grown two heads.

"W-w-what did you just say?" He croaked.

"N-n-nothing," Lily blithered. "I-I should go, I have..." She began to turn away.

"Lily, wait. Please." James grabbed her hand, and she stopped in her tracks. She turned to face him, but in the end ended up staring at the floor.

"Did you mean what you said?"

Biting her lip, Lily nodded glumly, a tear streaking down her face. James cupped her face in his hand so she could face him.

"I'm sorry James, I-" He raised his hand. His eyes were shining, and he was smiling so radiantly that Lily felt her face heating up rapidly in response.

"You have nothing to apologise for, Lily. I..." He swallowed, and ruffled his untidy black hair, a habit which Lily found increasingly endearing. "I didn't ask you out because every time I did so, you would become wildly mad at me. Honestly speaking, all your rejections hurt deeply, especially since I'm sure I was definitely in love with you since fourth year. I never stopped loving you, but I, well, I was a coward. I was just so terrified of rejection again."

That did it. The dam broke, and Lily began sobbing uncontrollably. James panicked.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Lily,"

"No, no, no, it's me. I'm the one who should be sorry. I was so horrible to you, I treated you so badly, I tried to deny my affections for you but it only came on stronger, and I was so stupid that I didn't see that you were the one..." Her rant was cut short as James wrapped her in his arms and hugged her, allowing her to sob into his shoulder.

"It's alright. It doesn't matter now. I've forgiven you." He released her, only to grunt in shock when Lily spontaneously kissed him. As James deepened the kiss, fireworks erupted in their bodies in explosions of ecstasy and pure, unadulterated bliss.

They broke apart, breathing heavily, but grinning stupidly at each other.

"Lily, will you go out with me to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" James asked.

Lily laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "I'd love to."

 **Author's Note: I know it's not the best, but please read and review all the same! :)**


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